goop (a fantastic burger sauce and fry/tot dip that appears to exist only in the Olympia, WA area)

mix 1 part sweet relish, 1 part vegan mayo, 1 part vegan sour cream. add some yellow mustard until the whole thing turns a pale yellow*, and sprinkle in some MSG if you're feeling fancy.

*e.g. i just made it with a half cup each of relish, mayo, and sour cream, and then added about 2 tbsp mustard and probably half a tsp of MSG. you get a feel for it.

tofu karaage (modeled after japanese fried chicken, but it's tofu)

squeeze the water out of a block of extra firm tofu (you don't have to press it. also, you can freeze and thaw it first for a chewier texture but it's not required). tear it into bite-size pieces*.

get some starch (potato is great, corn is fine, i wouldn't use regular flour), add some salt, garlic powder, curry powder, whatever. roll the tofu pieces in the seasoned starch, making sure it's totally coated.

heat some canola/vegetable/peanut oil in a high-walled skillet. you want enough for the tofu to float. heat it on medium-high. sorry to say you need a thermometer here, but you do, so you can heat the oil to around 325F.

fry the tofu in 2-3 batches (don't crowd the pan**), putting the fried tofu from each batch onto a cooling rack or paper towels or something to drain. once you've fried all of the tofu, increase the heat on the oil and bring it up to around 350F. fry everything again (this is where the super beautiful crispy happens). serve with rice and some kind of vegetable, and i recommend squeezing some lemon juice over it.